When Friday Didn’t Happen

When Friday Didn’t Happen

AKA the day my bestie (Friday) showed up like a huge, cranky a-hole. Do you ever just have one of those days where you feel bleh and everything feels way too hard and like too much effort? Yeah–totally me Friday all weekend. I’m patting myself on the back for putting on deodorant, feeding myself and wearing clothes that weren’t yoga pants. You go Glen Cocoa.

I also promised myself to keep it 100 with you people on here and never write just because I felt like I should. Sooooo I didn’t. *shrug* This basicallllly sums up my entire weekend…


(That ottoman life )

Remember how I also thought I had an ulcer? And then I THOUGHT it had been resolved? Yeahhhhhhhh about that. I’ve been living off of oatmeal, chicken sausage and saltines (and one glass of wine-yolo) for about 5 days now with no avail–le sigh.ย Fingers crossed I get that ish figured out before Christmas because my plans include copious amounts of food and cocktails and I refuse to miss out! #falalalalame

sherman bathroom


I also took about 7 Epsom salt baths…with this creep in toe. Get a cat they said. They’re less high maintenance they said.ย  LOL

Somehow I managed to drag my body out to run the usual weekend shopping errands to meal plan for the week. Drag=hunching my body over the front end of the cart=I looked STUNNING this weekend ๐Ÿ˜€

Weekly Eats

Monday: Leftovers/On my own. Hubs is out this evening soooooo. IE oatmeal, chicken sausage and saltines? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Tuesday: Rotisserie chicken with pesto, broccoli and spaghetti squash/noodles ( I bet you can guess who’s eating the veggies in this meal) ๐Ÿ™‚

Wednesday: Burgers and Alexia Sweet Potato Fries plus salad

Thursday: Chicken “Alfredo” (potential recipe!) with zoodles.

Friday: Everything delicious because it’s holiday time!

That’s all I’ve got for ya! Aside from this gem a friend sent me today because she said it made her think of me. CLEARLY she knows me ๐Ÿ˜‰


^ Also how I feel currently when trying to self diagnose myself and Ursula (<—Ulcer)

Happy Holiday Week!


What I Shoved in My Mouth Wednesday

What I Shoved in My Mouth Wednesday

Yesterday was weird. You guys, I have been convinced for the last three days now that I have an ulcer. I realize this as an absurd thought because: A. I live a pretty healthy lifestyle and B. I am not 70 years old. But no joke, Google symptoms of an ulcer and I’ve pretty much been experiencing all of them. Thankfully, Dr. Google was NOT right this time (I know…this is shocking) and it appears to be related to PMS (sorry to the 2 dudes who read this blog). So basically, I just ate whatever sounded like a good idea at the time.


Started off the day with this classy breakfast served on my best china. Trader Joe’s GF oatmeal packet with a little stevia and butter de peanuts in it. Plus a side of Brat Hans Breakfast Chicken Sausages. <—-GET THESE. It’s a sad day when even coffee doesn’t sound good. Gasp

lunchlunch 2

I ate zero things in between breakfast and lunch because I was certain my ulcer was going to rupture and I was way too busy for that ๐Ÿ˜‰ For lunch I hit up this amazing and extravagantly expensive salad spot downtown. It’s like $11 bucks for that thing but it’s all non-GMO, organic, gluten-free heaven in your mouth. Basically just chicken with a hot mess of veggies and TRUFFLE OIL dressing. Will pay $11 for truffles.


Apparently ulcers hate vegetables so I coasted through the afternoon on some ginger tea.


And then decided I wasn’t going down without a fight so attempted a banana and those TRUFFLE (can’t stop.won’t stop) almonds from TJ’s. Literally, I only ate that handful. Fighting with caution?


These were supposed to be for dinner. But the only thing that sounded good and that I had time for after a series of unfortunate events, was a handful of Siete Foods Tortilla chips, 2 leftover chicken wings and 4 celery sticks–so that’s what I ate instead. Not even mad about it. #dinnerofchamps #blametheulcer

night tea

Before I fell asleep at approximately 8:03 PM I had a cup of this magic plus an (unpictured) actual sugar cookie–because cookies cure everything.

And magically today I feel BETTER. Which, in conclusion: Ulcers hate vegetables. Ulcers love cookies. Ulcers = my husband? JK ๐Ÿ™‚ OBVIOUSLY the actual lesson is that Christmas Sugar Cookies solve all problems ๐Ÿ˜‰


Disclaimer: zero scientific studies have shown cookies cure diseases. I can only speak from personal experience ๐Ÿ˜‰ย 




A Weekend of Epic (pro)Portions—of Wine

A Weekend of Epic (pro)Portions—of Wine

Can we just talk about the phenomenon I’d like to call ” somehow you can drink 27 glasses of wine with your friends without dying even though you usually only drink 2″? HOW? How does this happen you guys? On a typical Friday and Saturday night I get two glasses in, and my body sends out a life alert signal reminding me I am nearly 30 and hello…two glasses is enough lady. So why is it the minute it’s ladies night, that bottle of rose becomes my own personal juice box and my body is immediately preparing itself for the next prohibition? Does this happen to anyone else? #notmadaboutit



Cue “somehow you can drink 27 glasses of wine with your best friends without dying even though you usually only drink 2” phenomena this weekend. Plus an epic cheese board..because obvs.

cheese plate

(#roseallday –literally..all.day. Also spotted: My favorite cheese of all time )

all the wine

(Trophies—:D *shrug*)

Saturday I awoke from my slumber with care (literally with care because my body was like WHAT DID YOU DO), in hopes that the hangover ferry would soon be there—-with 7 Propel Waters and a massive plate of bacon and eggs. <—-Didn’t happen. So instead I chugged a water, 2 iced coffees, 3 ibuprofen, and a partridge in a pear treeย a large plate of bacon and eggs that I somehow managed to throw together; and then forced myself into the 20 degree tundra to get groceries for the week. WHY DO I LIVE WHERE THE AIR HURTS MY FACE?

Eats for the week:

Monday:ย Easy Asian Turkey Bowls (recipe coming soon!)

Tuesday:ย Steak with Goat Cheese Roasted Red Pepper Sauce (coming soon!) over caulimash OR zoodles OR caulirice —–my struggle to make decisions is REAL

Wednesday:ย Leftovers

Thursday: Aidell’s caramelized onion meatballs with caulimash

Friday: Out

Annnnnnd here’s what I bought. Because I’m also nosy AF and love to see what other people buy ๐Ÿ˜€

WF eats

(Seriously WF tuna…HEARTS)

TJ eats

(oh cauliflower dip…I have BIG plans for youuuuu)

Targ eats

(Anyone else’s husband/wife/SO tell you they “need” processed staples in their diet to stay alive? )

Rounded out an exhilarating Saturday watching a new documentary on Netflix–Voyeur. YOU GUYS. This guy just creeped on people in a motel room he owned FOR YEARS. Like took peeping Tom to a WHOLE new level. You’ll legit want to take a shower immediately and never stay in a hotel again. But IT.IS.FASCINATING.


Oh look. More wine. *nervous smile emoji* I mean, it’s basically Siberia outside here so all the indoor activities. Plus YOLO? I’m supporting local businesses? #theyhadmeatfreemeatandcheese


girls day

Giving three cheers (literally) to a fab weekend! Have a great Monday Friends!