What I Shoved in My Mouth Wednesday

Yesterday was weird. You guys, I have been convinced for the last three days now that I have an ulcer. I realize this as an absurd thought because: A. I live a pretty healthy lifestyle and B. I am not 70 years old. But no joke, Google symptoms of an ulcer and I’ve pretty much been experiencing all of them. Thankfully, Dr. Google was NOT right this time (I know…this is shocking) and it appears to be related to PMS (sorry to the 2 dudes who read this blog). So basically, I just ate whatever sounded like a good idea at the time.


Started off the day with this classy breakfast served on my best china. Trader Joe’s GF oatmeal packet with a little stevia and butter de peanuts in it. Plus a side of Brat Hans Breakfast Chicken Sausages. <—-GET THESE. It’s a sad day when even coffee doesn’t sound good. Gasp

lunchlunch 2

I ate zero things in between breakfast and lunch because I was certain my ulcer was going to rupture and I was way too busy for that 😉 For lunch I hit up this amazing and extravagantly expensive salad spot downtown. It’s like $11 bucks for that thing but it’s all non-GMO, organic, gluten-free heaven in your mouth. Basically just chicken with a hot mess of veggies and TRUFFLE OIL dressing. Will pay $11 for truffles.


Apparently ulcers hate vegetables so I coasted through the afternoon on some ginger tea.


And then decided I wasn’t going down without a fight so attempted a banana and those TRUFFLE (can’t stop.won’t stop) almonds from TJ’s. Literally, I only ate that handful. Fighting with caution?


These were supposed to be for dinner. But the only thing that sounded good and that I had time for after a series of unfortunate events, was a handful of Siete Foods Tortilla chips, 2 leftover chicken wings and 4 celery sticks–so that’s what I ate instead. Not even mad about it. #dinnerofchamps #blametheulcer

night tea

Before I fell asleep at approximately 8:03 PM I had a cup of this magic plus an (unpictured) actual sugar cookie–because cookies cure everything.

And magically today I feel BETTER. Which, in conclusion: Ulcers hate vegetables. Ulcers love cookies. Ulcers = my husband? JK 🙂 OBVIOUSLY the actual lesson is that Christmas Sugar Cookies solve all problems 😉


Disclaimer: zero scientific studies have shown cookies cure diseases. I can only speak from personal experience 😉 




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